Today is the start of Lent, a time of penance and reflection before Easter. Catholics go to church to get ashes on their forehead as an outward symbol of the desire to repent. But just because Lent is a somber time, it doesn’t mean I leave my humor at the door.
When you sit by yourself in church, you have a lot of time to think. So what follows is a look inside my head, or If I were live tweeting from Ash Wednesday mass:
“It’s 4:30 – if I leave the office now I should be able to make 5:15 mass. #houstontrafficisawesome”
“Is it bad to skip mass because you can’t find a parking spot?”
“I just circled a full, gated parking lot three times trying to find a way out. People keep pulling in, but where are they going??”
“The archbishop opened with a story about places that do drive-through ashes. Sounds like somebody else brought their sense of humor tonight. ”
“I swear I just heard the priest say ‘bless those who are sleeping.’ He might have been talking about me. #longdayatwork #2hourmass”
“The people behind me can’t stop coughing. I am not looking forward to shaking their hands.”
“Time to shake hands. I’m overcommitting to the row in front of me. #theyarentcoughing.”
“And I’m shaking hands with a very handsome man…and he’s Catholic. Bonus!”
“Wait a minute, there are handsome men everywhere! I’ve never seen this many single men in church at once. #butseriously”
“I wish they’d give you a Chase quickpay option when they take up collections #neverhavecash”
“How does everyone know every word to this song…that’s being sung in Latin?”
“The lady with the communion wine made eye contact as I passed by. Sorry lady, this germaphobe will not be stopping.”
“Oh crap, I just pushed my hair back off my face and now I have ashes everywhere.”
Let me know if you had an Ash Wednesday experience to share!
Do you like having a backstage pass to my thought process? Let me know, and maybe I’ll make this a series!